Monday, July 27, 2009

House Sitting

Last week found me house sitting in North Saanich - only five minutes from work. I was able to bike into work in under 15 minutes. (Just try making a five minute ride in the dark)

I'd put the cat out and strike off just before the sun came up. By 12:45 pm was back to water and feed the cat. Next came a nice layback in the hammock under the shade trees with a bucket of cool ones and some reading to finish off the hottest part of the day.

Then a short paddle on Sannich Inlet and back for an early evening super followed by just laying back to watch the sun set over the inlet. What a great location.

It was so restful I found lots of time to compose my departing note to the home owners. The text follows.

I fixed the water heater. Some Tom came by and I'd like one of the kittens. I changed the language preference on your computer to Dutch and bookmarked lots of interesting adult sites.

Drank all your beer but could not find the broom. I wanted to use it to get the ladies thong off the ceiling fan. No matter how fast I ran the fan it just would not come down. Very odd.

I took your new Explorer out for a paddle. I'm not sure if gel coat will fix the hole. Thanks for letting me read the Ocean Paddler Magazines. I cut a few articles out to share with my SISKA friends. What's wrong with your oven?

I answered the phone Wednesday night and you've won the Nigerian lottery. It took a while for me to find your bank account info, but the guy on the line was real patient, especially when I fibbed and told him I was a senior. That gets sympathy every time. The money will be in your account on Monday - it's $4.2 million. Man are you one lucky guy. Would you consider a small gratuity. One percent would be sweet.

Victoria Kayaker

PS. I couldn't remember if you said I could smoke in the house or not. So I kept it down to just a couple of cigars in the evening. Oh yea, you can hardly see the beer stain or cigar burn on the carpet. I'm sure if you don't point them out no one will never know.

1 comment:

gnarlydog said...

That does it: you ain't housitting my place anytime soon.
And to think I was considering doing a house swap: you in Australia, me in the North West...
What was I thinking."
Thanks for the heads up.


PS... please elaborate on the "fan incident" :-)